My Diet Journey || Week 1

13.01.19 | Week 1.

6.30pm - Banbury Slimming World.

I am in this new built local community center. You can still smell the fresh paint.
About 50 people are in the room. A lot of us are overweight but some are not. Why are they here? I wonder.

I was given a form to fill and a welcome pack. I sat at the back (because this is clearly where cool kids sat , right?). I don't want to be here. Why am I here? Some of the staff kept interrupting me:

Lady-"Do you wish to play at the Slimming World lottery?"
Me: "No thanks... I am good."

Sometimes later : 
Lady-"Would you like a cup of tea?"

Me : "No thanks"

A bit later :
Lady- Have you finish filling your form?
Me: "No sorry". 
Lady-"That's ok Love take your time."

The truth its that I was too busy texting my friend (for the purpose of my diet journey I will not use her real name to not reveal our indentity. but I will call her Anne instead) taking the piss of this place.

I don't want to be here.

She's to join me too as she wish to lose a bit. I decided to join her so we can support each other. She is on her way.  I can't wait for her to join me.

Anne arrived and before we knew it we were in the swing of it. Our Slimming Wolrd consultant is Dea.
She told us her story that she used to be size 18-20. She is a wheel chair user. She realised the day she needed to lose weight when she was at an NHS hospital to get a new wheel chairs, they had to order a special XL one for her as she could not fit in a standard one. Now she is a size 12 she proudly announced and her wheel chair is the smallest of the range. She of course followed and joined Slimming World to get where she is now. We all smile.

Then Dea explained to us the aim of Slimming World, their technic, the food diary, the Syns you are aloud per day (why do they call them Syns surely they shall be called Bonus or Extras?) and so on so on...to be honest I am not really paying attention, too busy taking the piss and rolling my eyes of things I heard time after time.
Then she mentioned: "You could lose 1/2 a stone a week!!" I rolled my eyes even more! I did not believe her.
Then came 7.30pm. It was an hour of torture but I decided to join and pay the weekly fee.
I find myself in the queue of about 30 + peoples. We were at the back so it took a while but I later I find myself on that Sliming World scale. I asked then to know show me or let me know my weight.
They asked me for my 'goal weight'. My answer: "the day I felt happy in my body". I have to admit I could not face giving that goal number away that seems so far. I panicked really. I felt odd as I saw them writing my weight on my booklet. Then they announced my Syns allowance which was: 25 (the bigger you are the more you get Syns allowance. Its the highest Syns allowance smallest one being 15),clearly I am obese.
In fact I had a small panic attack. Tight chest feeling with struggle to breath. I paid the £5, said my goodbye to Anne and left. 

8.15pm - Car Park.

It s raining and its cold I sat in my car . On the car seat next to me is my Slimming World welcome pack , food booklets, diet forms, calendar , card member, pen etc all you need to get you started really apart the motivation. I am no longer taking the piss or rolling my eyes. I am thinking of it , thinking and find myself out loud saying : "you can do this Marie". I started my engine and left.

14.01.19- 6.30am

I wake up and felt a change in me. It felt like motivation. I am no longer taking the piss at Slimming World, I am seriously looking at all my booklets, taking the information in, understanding what it is is about, the syns allowance uploading the App, registering ...I mean you name it.

I am happy. I am starting this with Anne. Somehow that Slimming Wolrd joke I made of last night changed into motivation. Maybe this is what I needed; being part of a group to get the motivation, to feel like you are not on your own. I can do this, we can do this all as one. 

I text Anne, thanks her to have push me to do it. I am motivated and I will be a success.

14.01.19 to 18.01.19

A week in and I am feeling very motivated despite the bad news I had mid-week. My diabetic went up along with my blood pressure, off I am on more medication. But I know its not the end , I can get better , I can reverse my diabetic and my blood pressure. I can do this Marie. I had a good cry at my surgery but I felt even more motivated while drying my tears.

My food intake have been a success this week, I barely use my Syns allowance even so I am suppose to use them as I please I don't . I put them aside for the day I need a pick me up a day where I am feeling that I do need them.

I joined a gym this week. Hahaha! No really I did joined a gym. Clearly who am I ? Oh and I joined a Rock Choir because I clearly do no longer wish to be part of the cool kid gang. Laughting at myself so much lately and things that I do but I need this to sing as loud as I can , to get me out, to be social and to forget about my anxiety and diet so here I am . I can do this. 

Sunday 19.01.19

Last day before Slimming World meeting and weight in. It is also my 1st year wedding anniversary. My husband took me back today to that fine dining restaurant we were got our 1st lunch as wife and husband. I know I can do this I know I am aloud as I have tons of Syns left like tons. I'll be ok. I wont indulged but yet I will enjoy this. I succeeded. I enjoy my food at that restaurant yet I did not over do it.

PS: Car broke down.  I am worried  as I need that stupid car tomorrow for my weight in.

Monday 20.01.19

Its Slimming World Weight in at 6.30pm tonight.

Anne and I kept texting eachother and chatting on what we would like the scale to reveal. We are both nerveous yet excited.

6pm - My car is still not fix. I can go anywhere until fix. 

I missed the 6.30pm Slimming Wolrd Weight in. I am gutted. I am laughing at myself because I'll never though one day I'll be upset missing a weight in. But here we are. Am I  a change person now? 

1st week done. It s been a very good week and I am so more motivated for week 2. I am looking forward to that dress I could wear on this upcoming family wedding in May, I am looking forward to see my blood glucose going down, I am looking forward to all this...but until then I keep reminding myself. You can do this Marie. Yes you can do this. 

Marie