Hi Peeps,Here we are another edition of my Diet Journey with yours truly.
Where and what can I say that make this edition different from the last one ( see it here) well...in two words: Eating Disorder. Yes!...something that have been truly dealing pretty much most of my adult life and yet in 2020 (after years being more or less dormant) it wake up with a bang.
This is something that I was almost and sadly like to say that I was expecting that old friend ( can I really call it a friend?) to come back for a visit. Back about 15 years ago this old bastard of friend was in my life for about 2 years. This lead me to anorexia and many other lovely 'mental health' issues but with the help of a dietician and a psychologist I came back on the other side better...not cured ( can you ever be cured from an eating disorder? I don't think you could?) but I came out alive, healthier and sufferings a lot less. A victory in itself but i knew that demon was always in me waiting for any good opportunities to come out and make feel like a failure, putting my life in danger and clearly be a real little shit that do not want to leave me alone. This time around I was a bit more prepared to deal with this bastard than last time around. Don't take me wrong it hurt me, it's slowly taking over but my battle was to speak about it to specialize doctor, let them aware that I needed their help one more time. You see the first time around I hided it , buried it when asked about it until I was painfully skinny and I was asked to seek help immediately. This time I am more prepared to fight back better , stronger and faster. I will once again bit the shit out of it, just watch me!
in the meantime ..the process is slow and painful with ups and down as you would expect it.
In term of my Slimming World journey I am still part of it I am still following as much as I possibly can (and mentally) right now their diet . Its not easy every day and it lead me to anxiety, stress...and well that god damn eating disorder. The journey to my weight goal is low but as I always says it is not a race but a marathon and I know iI'll get there eventually. Right now getting me back on the track of an heathy eating without harming myself its what is important to me. So bear with me while I reset the start button once again and mostly beat the shit out of that old demon.
Sorry ...not much of a round up of my diet as such but this is what I am dealing with right now. I am raw take it or leave it.
in the meantime if you find yourself reading this post and you are going through similar eating disorder issues or feelings ...let me just tell let you now that you are not alone and you must seek help immediately and get all the support you need. here a link of an Eating Disorder helpline .
Love yourself
Marie
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